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:iconakarra:
Your poem does a good job dealing with how our senses, our knowledge and most problematically our loves attempt to fit together. The problem is that they associate and don't fit together neatly enough. We could say "wow, your eyes opened up like new worlds when we kissed," but then we'd have to confront "hey, what exactly was I seeing?"

The second stanza, which seems to place the narrator at a different time, is focused more on feeling. Hearing and seeing are only alluded to. The one sense by itself, though, hides certainty: "I have never felt more beautiful." Is this known?

Your third stanza shows a breaking-apart. But that breaking apart is where tears of blood (?), what is heard, and what is felt and known all do coincide.

It's a very good poem. There's probably more you can achieve artistically. Does every word count for something? Are there some grammar issues? (Second line might need a pronoun). I can't tell whether your imagery all adds up smoothly enough. It does for me, but you've got to make a call about what you're doing with every element.
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:iconobsidian-nightfall:
~Obsidian-Nightfall Apr 5, 2012  Student Writer
Thank you.
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:iconakarra:
*akarra Apr 5, 2012  Student Writer
It's no problem. Just hope I can get you more exposure, more dA friends.
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